Getting Out of Debt

America has quite the problem of materialism which leads to MANY of us living in debt because of it. Or sometimes debt just happens due to a hard time. Or maybe you as a mom just want to stay at home and live as a one income family. There are SEVERAL "programs" out there that you can go through to walk you through getting out of debt. However, we have found that no one program fits all circumstances. Here is our story and some tips that we have incorporated to help our family pay off debt.

About 12 years ago, we were in a good amount of debt. John was led to begin seminary, but we knew we couldn't do it with our debt and for me to continue to stay home with our - at the time - one child. We followed some simple guidelines and paid off thousands of dollars within a short amount of time(including selling a house by FSBO within 2 days).  Fast forward .... Here we are 12 year later, and the debt has caught up with us again. Multiple moves, mounting medical bills, and a few bad choices, have put us back in debt again. The debt is quite larger this time; however, we are just as committed to being debt free as we were the first time -- this time will just take longer. Here are some simple steps to help you get started:


#1. Identify your WHY!  Why do you want to get out of debt??  Financial freedom? Ministry Freedom? Live on one income??  Once you know your why, you can begin the process.

#2. PRAY! PRAY! PRAY! You cannot expect to accomplish great things if you don't submit your plan to God. Pray for these three main areas: for God to give you the strength, perseverance, and wisdom to make the changes you need to make, that He will hold back major life expenses, and that (as one program called it) "miracle money" will be made available to pay off your debt.

NOW LET'S GET STARTED!!!!

#1. Rainy day fund!!!  You have to set up an emergency fund. This will cover those life expenses that arise and keep you out of debt. I know Dave Ramsey states that you should save $1000 for a "rainy" day. However, due to the size of our family and possible upcoming medical bills for Luke,  we do not feel this is enough. Determine the size of your families needed rainy day fund. START HERE!!!  This MUST be in place to help you STAY OUT of debt.

#2. Now for the hard part!!! YOU MUST CUT BACK!!! Take a look around your house. Do you really need Great Aunt Irene's dusty knick-knack??  Go through your home and GET RID OF STUFF!!! Ebay, Craigs List, Letgo, are great places for your more expensive items. Then have a yard sell. Shoot, have two -- sale till the stuff is GONE!!!! Sell to the point the kids and your dog are concerned they are next :) I promise you, you WILL NOT miss your stuff!!! Over the years we have sold MANY things, and I can't think of one single item to date that I "miss."

Now, take a look at your bills. This is where is might get a little more personal. Do you really need that high dollar phone plan, top of the line cable, etc. Get rid of the bills you don't really "need." Turn your thermostat down/up. We save a fortune by adjusting our thermostats. I could write a book on ways to cut back. So, check out some great books on frugal living. Google for great ideas!!!  There are sooo many out there!!!

Give up personal pleasures for a short time ... the benefits WILL be worth it. Cut out the pedis, manis, hair color, expensive clothing, etc. Shop thrift stores, second-hand, etc. Pray that God will provide the things you "need." We currently have a list of needs that we keep and pray for. Could we go out and buy them, yes. But that is not a good financial choice for us. Sometimes God provides by a big sack of hand-me-downs. Sometimes its a refund check in the mail for the amount we needed for one of our needs. Just last month I accidently paid the cell phone bill twice which meant I didn't have to pay it this month, and we were able to pay for our boys to go to RA camp without breaking our budget.

This is a long list of sacrifices, but remember your "WHY." It is worth it!!! A short time of sacrifice for a lifetime of financial freedom. The more you sacrifice up front the shorter the time of sacrifice!! And honestly, most of the "sacrifices" you won't really miss. When we attended seminary the second time, we were flat out poor! We had four children living in a 856 sq foot house. Three of our kids were going through some tough medical issues. John worked a job that didn't pay beans, so he could focus on his schooling. Yet, the WHOLE time I was able to stay home. HOW?? Because we learned during that time what true life necessities were. Those have been life lessons that have carried through even till this day! I learned to live in such a frugal way that most days I still do the same things even though I don't necessarily "have" to anymore.

#3. After you have your rainy day fund, tackle that debt. There are MANY different philosophies as to which order you should pay off your debt. I think this is a personal choice. Some like the highest interest rates first. Some like paying off the smaller ones first to keep the momentum going! We chose to pay off our interest free loan first to free up a chunk of money faster. In the past year or so, we have paid off our van and sold our home! We chose to rent when we moved to GA. Not only was it easier, it will help us pay off our remaining debt by not having the expense of a home to maintain at this time.  GET MAD AT YOUR DEBT!!!  I am serious!!! Get mad at it, and it will motivate you to keep on keepin on!!!

#4. BE PATIENT! You did not get into debt overnight, so you wont pay it off overnight. But every little progress you make is one step closer to the ultimate goal. It took us about 1 1/2 years to pay off our van, and it will probably take a few more to pay off a few minor debts and our credit card which contains a mound of medical bills and some bad choices.  But in the end ... IT WILL BE WORTH IT!!!

#5. LIVE!!!! -- It will take a few more years to pay off our debt. Do you just stop "living" in the meantime?? Absolutely NOT!!!  Our kids are growing so fast and we want to treasure EVERY moment with them!!!  We still do things!!!  In fact, we are taking a mini-vacation for Thanksgiving. But we will do it as frugally as possible. John gets free hotel nights through his job, and we will pack and cook our own food (its healthier anyway). Usually we chose one night to go out to eat for a special treat (but you can bet I will have some sort-of coupon). Almost all the attractions we want to go and see I have been able to find discounts online. We also plan to go to Washington DC this summer, but we are saving NOW! We have a jar to drop spare change and dollars in. Again, it will be done as frugally as possible. Could we pay off our debt faster without doing things like this -- you bet!! But we chose to live (within reason) during this season!

Our why -- we believe in financial freedom. We do NOT believe that we are meant to live trapped in financial entanglements. We have a heart and a passion for missions. Knowing what we will be able to do once we are debt free is our "why." Not only have we learned how to live frugally, we have learned ways to keep the debt from EVER piling up again! Hopefully, we can inspire just one person to take that first step into a journey of financial freedom!!  We definitely do NOT have all the answers, but would love to discuss any of this further with anyone who needs encouragement to begin the journey!

Miscarriage: The Ugly Beautiful Truth

      In honor of October being infant loss and awareness month, I wanted to share some raw truths and facts about a topic few understand and not many discuss.

      After Christopher was born, we decided to let God be the ultimate family planner for our family. We never knew that that conviction would not be an easy road to walk. Yet, one we wouldn't trade for anything. When you let God plan, the babies are supposed to come quickly, and your family would look something like the Duggars, right??  We learned quickly letting God plan looks different for each family. It took a long time for us to conceive Lily.  After Lily the little boys came quickly thereafter.  When Will was a year old, we conceived our 5th baby. Miscarriage was one of those things that happened to other people.  Never even crossed my mind as a possibility. We learned shortly that we would not hold this baby this side of heaven.

     The first miscarriage was one full of sadness and grief.  It's a grief that only the mother can understand. I am not downplaying the father's grief as it is real and hard. But the mother endures the grueling physical process that takes such a emotional toll of one's heart and body. It's a cruel process. It's the hardship of labor without the reward of a precious infant.  You feel you failed: you feel inadequate. You spend so many thoughts questioning what went wrong, what could you have done differently. Was it the fact you forgot you prenatals a few times? Was it the fact you didn't get enough sleep? Were you too stressed? Questions that lead to self blame.  A dangerous path to walk down. Yet, I walked it.

     Shortly after we conceived again. We soon discovered that yet again we wouldn't hold this baby either. This miscarriage lead to severe medical complications for me. A night in the ICU with BP so low they couldn't do the surgery to stop me from bleeding out.  It was a nightmare. Grief didn't even factor because I feared for my life.  By the time I recovered, I was numb.  I found comfort in selling a lot of my baby items (swings, high chairs, etc.).  I didn't want to be reminded of what I had lost. I questioned our convictions. I questioned everything. 

     Not long after we moved to NM, we found out we were expecting Johanna. I wasn't even excited. I didn't want to get my hopes up. We didn't tell the kids, and I distanced myself from the fact I was pregnant. We got past the first trimester, and I finally allowed my heart to fully love and accept the baby growing inside me. We welcomed a beautiful baby girl who changed our family forever. I often think if I had given up when I wanted to I wouldn't have this spunky little bundle of joy!!

     Baby #8 made the presence known in June of this year.  Gone were the fears of miscarriage.  After all we had a healthy baby girl. We made it to week 12. Hopes were high for a healthy baby until an ultrasound proved otherwise. This miscarriage was different. This time I was angry. Grief was only secondary to anger.  I didn't even question the "what ifs." I was done. I told John I was done having kids.  I didn't want anymore. I didn't want to go through this anymore. It's too hard.  I was DONE!!!  Anger consumed me. But if you asked, I told you I was fine.  The grief of miscarriage is just not readily shared. The fact that it endures long past the finality of it is often overlooked.

     It's been eight weeks. God has healed my body and my heart. You see when you believe in life at conception, you have the amazing hope that miscarriage isn't the end.  Babies lost in miscarriage are rejoicing with our Savior in heaven. They were NOT tissue. They were NOT discarded. They were not in vain. HOPE! Hope is what mothers of lost babies have. Hope that this isn't the end.  Lord willing we will be blessed again with another healthy baby. But I know God is sovereign and I trust in that alone.  Whether I never have another healthy baby or I get blessed with several more, GOD alone is the author of life and death.

What it comes down to is this ... the Lord gives and the Lord takes away .... BLESSED be the name of the Lord.
    

    

The Birth of Johanna Prayse

Well, since I am not a blogger, I don't keep up with this page. However, it is a great resource for me to share updates about our family. I haven't updated in awhile, so I wanted to share the birth story of our miracle Johanna Prayse!!! I figure I better get the details down before I forget them :) This story is real, raw, and BEAUTIFUL .....

41 weeks .... YES!! 41 weeks ... I was STILL pregnant!!! I had experienced TONS of false labor but I was STILL pregnant!  However, on Saturday May 3rd, 2014, we all had a hunch that TODAY was the DAY!!!  I had sporadic contractions all day, but with so much false labor I wasn't hopeful. The midwives had arranged care for their children for that night. I remember thinking "Ok, Johanna tonight is the time. Everyone is ready." We put our kids in bed that night, and we finally got in bed around 11:00. I watch the clock ...... wait, these are about 5 mints apart.  Hmmm, but they don't really hurt. Yea, false labor ... again. 11:45 pm not so sure its false anymore. John is convinced. He's up setting up the birth pool. I am still in denial. The pump charger for the pool decides to not work. So, John heads outside to the front yard to hook the car charger up. As if we weren't strange enough with the whole homebirth thing, John is out in the front yard at midnight blowing up a kiddie pool.  I always have that fear of calling the midwives in the middle of the night for a "false" alarm. John finally convinced me I really was in labor, so I call. Because I am still not 100% convinced, I don't call my sweet friend who is doing birth photography for me. Seriously, who wants to wake your friend up in the middle of the night. I finally decide to call my parents who are 4 1/2 hours away. My dad says "if we leave now, do you think we will make it in time?" My reply "I hope not."
Contractions begin picking up. I move to the birth ball ....

Midwives arrive, set up, and we get this party started!!!! These two ladies are amazing!!! I was completely amazed with their proficiency, care, and knowledge!!! *blessed*

I finally get up the nerve to call my friend in the middle of the night. We wake up Lily who wanted to be there for the whole thing. Ok, everyone has been contacted. Lets DO THIS!!!! I get into the birth pool with my midwives, husband, and daughter supporting me.

 

 

So far this birth was a walk in the park (so far .... ) There was lots of pressure but really no urge to push.  Midwife asked if she could check me (notice the "ask" .. LOVE midwives!!!!)  I was only a seven ... what the ...????  She suggests I get out of the pool and sit backwards on the toilet. If I known what lay ahead, I would have said NO way!!!! I sat down on the toilet and when the next contraction hit it was literally the WORSE pain I have EVER experienced. Ok, DONE with that!!!  I got up. However, it had done the trick and I was in full transition. I walked to the bed and another hit ...

I told my midwife "I have to poop" because when you are in extreme pain you really don't think straight. She reminded me sweetly that that was my baby. With the next contraction I laid down on the bed. I WAS SO DONE!!! IT HURT SO BAD!!!!  My midwife asks to check me again. She pushed my cervix back the rest of the way and my water broke.  THIS WAS IT!!!  She was coming!!! All I could think was to get this baby OUT OF MY BODY!!!! But I knew I had to listen to my midwives directions and coaching to get her out!!!  A few pushes later ... remember my parents on the way??? My mom walked in at 7:00 and at 7:01  ..... my baby girl was here. She was instantly put on my chest. But I knew something wasn't right. I had had five babies and this one was GREY not pink. My midwife said talk to her. We talked, rubbed on her, but she still didn't cry. They got the oxygen and after a few minutes my precious baby was pink and crying!!! Praise the Lord for wonderful midwives!!! I put her to nurse and sweet girl nursed for about an hour. We were left to bond. Then the midwives came back in and to weigh, measure, assess her, etc.

Then came the big reveal!!!! The midwives helped me clean up and dress while John got the honored privilege of introducing her to the rest of the gang ... and as you can see in this picture Lily was quite proud of her accomplishments ...

and then my friend and photographer captured the most amazing pic ....

My EVERYTHING!!!

 

Dear Sweet Johanna, you were hoped for, prayed for, longed for. You were the healing balm to our hurting hearts. You are an answered prayer. You are our PRAYSE!!!!



 

When all was said and done, I asked Lily if she still wanted to have babies. Her reply "Yes, but I won't be so dramatic about it."



45 DAYS .........

 

 

     So its been over a year since I posted ... where to begin??  How about the last 45 days before arriving in New Mexico.  John comes home and says "I got the job. We have 45 days to be in Albuquerque." I got this I thought to myself. I mean this wasn't the first time we had ventured out of state. Oh boy, was I ever so wrong!!!  I had no idea that the next 45 days would be complete HELL!!!!  Dalton kicked it off with a broken arm, surgery, and a hospital stay. I was up next with a miscarriage that landed me in ICU. After changing my clothes FOUR times, with blood running down my legs, John took me to the ER. My BP fell to 70/40. I endured several excoriating procedures before they finally had my BP up enough to do a D&C.  The whole ordeal left me completely exhausted, unable to keep up with daily tasks, four kids, much less mourn the loss of our baby (the second in a row that is in Heaven). Follow up appointments, dental work for William (he's 2, crazy I know), and to top it off John was GONE for training for 3 weeks of those 45 days.  We finally get on the road to New Mexico, and our house doesn't close in time leaving us homeless for several days. By this point, I was just an exhausted, physical shell just trying to make it to the next minute.  The song "I'm Worn" was my anthem.  Friends would say they admired my faith and my strength ... There was nothing to admire but a shell of a human wandering through life just getting by.  I wanted to believe that God was still God ... but I must admit I questioned it.

     Well, here we are in New Mexico. They say hindsight in 20/20. Looking back on what was arguably the worst 45 days of my life, I am amazed that God was there at EVERY turn. Dalton is recovering from his arm. We got a AWESOME report that his surgery saved his kidneys!!!! William is healthy. I am alive and healthy with the clearance to try again on a baby!!!  Friends where there at every turn and low point with acts of service, encouragement, etc. I feel the shell is cracking and God is starting to refill all the holes in my heart as only HE can. I have learned so many faith/life lessons these past 45 days. God has grown me in so many areas, revealed so many weakness and things about me that don't please Him. Although we are homesick for Texas, I am excited to see what God is going to do through our family here in New Mexico. Because I came out of these 45 days stronger than before.

     With all that being said, Kidney Beans Embroidery will re-open :) I look forward to creating and selling as time allows. I am also a consultant with Young Living Oils. So, if I can serve you in any of these ways just let me know. :)



Why ME Lord???

So many things have been on my heart and mind lately!   It seems like the medical trials with my kids just won't ever end .... and I must admit the temptation to have a major pity party .. daily ... is almost overwhelming!  Why ME Lord??? This is so unfair!!!!! I can't do this!!! I am NOT strong enough!!!!  I want to save and plan not spend all our money on medical expenses!!!! GOD we wanted to go overseas!!!!! etc., etc., etc.!!!! 

But what I think about fair ... what was fair about Jesus dying a cruel and painful death for MY sins????  He made the ULTIMATE sacrifice, so who am I to complain about my own personal sacrifices???  All day long I tell my kids "don't say, 'that's not fair'" .. a phrase forbidden in our house ... but oh how often do I cry out to God in a rambling of not fair self-pity?????? 

It is said that trials just strengthen our relationship with God.  I can saw how true this is. I have been on my knees more than EVER simply because of my children.  I have been angry at God.  I have doubted his ways.  I have wanted to give -up.  But there is just something about the love of our Saviour that is so powerful and gentle.  I hear God whispering to me EVERY time I am tempted to quit .... "You are right child, you can't do this alone ---- that is why I AM here."  I have been put in a place that I can't live WITHOUT God!!! 

I don't know what the future holds for my kids.  Is Dalton looking at major kidney surgery?? It's a high possibility.  Will we ever figure out what is wrong with Lily??? I don't know.  Will William remain healthy with his kidneys???? I don't know.  I have been asked "With all your kids health problems, will you have more?" ... Of course I will. If I had stopped having children because it was difficult then Christopher would be an only child :). 

I do covet your prayers as we go for the results on March 22nd of Dalton's latest testing.  May God give us the wisdom and strength to make the right decisions. 

Oh, and Kidney Beans is back open after the holiday break!!!!!  Mother's day is coming up .. get your orders in now!!!!

Ring in the New Year with .... Dog Scarfs????

Well, it has been awhile since I have given any updates ... I guess there really hasn't been much to report.  Kidney Beans is closed until after the holidays.  However, here is a cute dog scarf that I have been making for people.  They even have a "sleeve" under the scarf to put the collar through so it doesn't slip off.  Instrested??? Contact me after the holidays, and I would love to make one for your dog :)

In case you are wondering, this adorable dog belongs to my brother and sister-in-law :)

Medically, there is nothing new to report.  We are still trying to figure out what is making Lily feel so terribly so prayers wisdom would greatly be appreciated.

We will be traveling this weekend to a church in Malta, Texas (aka. the middle of NO where) for John to preach.  They are looking to possibly call him as their pastor.  We covet your prayers as we begin this process.  We wish everyone a wonderful holiday season ...... and don't forget your pooch ... I would love to spruce him/her up ... after the holidays :) 

Dish Towel Fundraiser

Even though the hospital wrote off thousands and thousands of dollars for us we still have doctor's fees, path labs, and radiology bills!  I am doing a dish towel fundraiser to help pay for these.  Through the end of October I am selling embroidered dish towels for $6.00 each (plus shipping - if you don't live in the Metroplex)!  ALL proceeds will go towards these medical bills!  My goal is to be medical bill free by January 1st!!!!  SO, do your Christmas shopping and help out a good cause!  I will still do all other products if you are more interested in those!!!!  My newest item is a embroidered dog scarf!!!! It actually loops through the collar to keep it secure --- even your pet needs a Christmas present, right? :) ... Working on a demo of this now!!! 

Medical update -- The boys are stable and will go for there yearly check-ups next year.  Dalton will go in March, and we will probably have to decide at that point whether or not to go ahead with the surgery for him.  William will go for his check-up in June!  Lily has an upcoming appointment with her GI in a few weeks.  She has seen some improvement but not as much as we had hoped.  Plus, she is having some other issues we will be discussing with the doctor! 

You can Facebook message me or email me missaann628@yahoo.com to place your order!!!!  Get your unique Christmas gifts and help out a GREAT cause!!!!!